Telling Others About Your Cancer Diagnosis
When you are diagnosed with a serious health condition, such as a gynecologic cancer, you may decide to learn all that you can about your health problem so that you can work with your medical team to make educated decisions about your health. Your close family members and friends may also need some education to understand what you may be going through and to figure out what they can do to help you during your illness.
Deciding who to tell about your cancer diagnosis and what to tell them is a very personal decision that each of us must make for ourselves. There is no "right way" for you and your family to feel about your diagnosis. You most likely will tell select friends, family and coworkers about your cancer in different ways and each person you tell will have different questions or concerns about your health.
In general, a good time to tell others about your cancer is after you and your healthcare provider have discussed and determined a course of treatment. At that point, you will have more knowledge about how your cancer will affect you and how your family or friends can best help.
What do I tell my family and friends about my cancer?
As your loved ones may be unfamiliar with this type of cancer, you may first need to explain the following:
For those who have children, some parents decide not to tell their child or children about their cancer diagnosis. Others choose to communicate only what they feel their child needs to know. The extent and detail of what you tell them depends upon your child's age and maturity, and how much you feel he or she can handle. It is wise to remember that children, even small children, can tell when something is wrong with a parent. If they are not told the truth, they may think something else is wrong or that they did something inappropriate.
Related topics:
Daddy’s Promise
The Hope Tree
Oncolink Children’s Library
Should I tell my place of employment?
You may be wondering if you should tell your workplace about your diagnosis. In general, you should tell your employer of your cancer diagnosis if it interferes with how you perform your work duties. In the case of a gynecologic cancer, you may need surgery, radiation therapy and/or chemotherapy, which could affect your time or performance at work.
Talk to your human resources department. They can inform you about your company's policies and offer guidance on how to communicate your condition to your co-workers or clients if you so decide.
How can my friends and family help me during my illness?
Your cancer treatment could keep you at home or in the hospital for an extended period of time. You may be in need of help with daily things such as household chores, errands, taking children to activities, etc. Those close to you can also help by handling insurance or legal issues or they can attend your patient visits with you, prepared with a list of questions and ready to take notes. Someone may want to help but may not know how or what to do therefore, when a friend asks what you need help with, be ready with an answer and don’t be afraid to delegate - your friends and family will want to help you.
Those close to you may wish to learn more about gynecologic cancer or your condition on their own. An excellent source of information you can direct them to is OncoLink® at www.oncolink.upenn.edu. Oncolink® is the Abramson Cancer Center’s award winning Internet resource. It contains information about all aspects of cancer, the latest treatments, clinical trials, research advances, and related issues. Through OncoLink®, you can access information from the Abramson Cancer Center, the National Cancer Institute, and other cancer resources. You also can learn about support services for you and your family.
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